Hanna Barbara

Spring Seneschal, Elusive escort


Seeming: Fairest
Court: Spring


Honey, I’m the single best hour of your life.

There are escorts, and then there’s Hanna Barbara. Elegant and poised, a sparkling conversationalist, her manner speaks more of Renaissance courtesans and the highest order of aspiring trophy wife. But she charges five thousand dollars an hour, and she’s only available for one one-hour block a day. She’s booked up for the next six months with clients from all over the world.

Hanna Barbara is the longest-standing member of the Quatrine Kingdom’s Spring Court, and has been its Seneschal, or steward most of that time. In this capacity, she has overseen the day-to-day affairs of the Court for three straight flighty and eccentric Spring Monarchs, leading to three straight prosperous reigns. Hanna herself has never sought a throne.

On top of her night job and her Courtly duties, Hanna Barbara oversees a small stable of college-age escorts. Josie, Daphne, Cindy, and Jane are all drug-free social-drinkers with 3.5+ GPAs. Anyone who’s less than a gentleman to these young ladies is in for an immediate run of very bad luck. Also a short flight over the nearest balcony.


Hanna’s fashion sense hasn’t changed much in the time she’s been back from Arcadia — she still dresses like a 1950s pin-up, all pencil waists and big buttons and round-toed pumps. On her, the look is not dated but classic, deliciously but tastefully hugging every dramatic, Jessica-Rabbit curve. Whenever out in public or in company, she wears a fully opaque veil, but her dresses are always very low-cut in the back to make up for it.


Far as anyone can tell, Hanna Barbara’s Fae Mien is not much different from her mask. Her skin is a frosty blue, and her black hair has a slight red tint, and she stands a bit taller. Perhaps what’s under the veil gives away more, but even her clients must sign an NDA, and anyone who’s tried to yank the cloth away has invariably lost the hand.

Hanna Barbara

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